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Name: Athanasios Ziakas

Instructor’s name: Marlen Harrison

Class information: English 110 (English for non-native speakers)

Date: 25/09/2013

 ”Is seeing believing?”

                                                                                                            Writing goals

Why did i write this and what do i aim for?

My goals are:

a)Make this story as vivid as possible

b)Try to pass my protagonists emotions and thoughts to the reader as clearly as possible.

C)Try to intrigue the readers into existential and other philosophical questions.

D)Try to point out how easily reality can be distorted because of vision in combination with lack of perception.

Intended Audience:  My essay is not intended for a specific audience.

”Is seeing believing?”

I put my glasses back in place as a tingling sensation passes through my body. It was suddenly hit me like a train, like always. Just a second ago I was talking to my friends and now my eyes are getting lost in shifting puzzles, formed by the dancing shadows of the trees. I fix my glasses once again, only to stare at the breathtaking night sky.

Unfortunately, what i see is too hard to be described. It’s like the sky is like a huge lamp and someone keeps playing with its switch. It must be around eleven o’clock at night, so how can the whole sky just brighten up, only to fade away in darkness once again?

My back starts aching, I’m not sure how long I’ve been sitting on this bench. My friends, One and Two follow. One’s long, red hair looks like it’s covered in million little sparks.  I start walking towards the park, thinking there’s no other place I wanna be at the moment. And on the way there, they started; my delusions of grandeur.

Suddenly i can understand everything. I know why I’m here while no one else does. I can see meaning to and in everything. I’m so much smarted than everyone else around me, therefore there’s no reason for me to speak; they won’t understand. I am the only one whose eyes have been opened to ”the real world”, the one who has been exposed to the light and like a blind man who just found his vision, I wanna enjoy every single second. Or I would enjoy every second, if the word time actually meant something to me right now. The world is an eternal now.

We finally reach our destination. One reaches in her bag, pulls two small blankets and she hastily arranges them on the grass. I take a look around and once again I’m dazed from what i see. Colours, lights, the reflection of buildings on the river; a river so clear that the reflections look like an alternate world. A world where everything is reverse, the world that never was.

I feel a little bit dizzy. With some effort i manage to take my shirt, shoes and socks off. I slowly lay down on the grass. I get shivers up my spine. I keep my eyes close as I feel the earth under me. Even though my eyes are closed, a little map in my mind allows me to ”see” everything. The movement of the toad that’s passing right next to me, the biker who picks up the pace when the road is straight, One and Two fighting over who gets the next song.

I open my eyes again, everything is more clear than ever. In turns, everything around is glowing green, red and yellow. The trees seem incredibly beautiful, their branches are glowing in more colours than i can count. My eyes can catch the smallest detail in the smallest patch of grass. My mind is free and so is my body. I’m one with the world. I, once again, feel free.

Still, even though i can feel, see and understand the concept of freedom, I can’t explain it to anyone else. They do not understand, they have not opened their eyes yet. Hopelessly trying to find a way to express myself, i open my bag and I grab my notebook and my pen. My eyes are pinned to the castle that i’ve never noticed before as the sound of music in my ears places me in complete euphoria. I don’t know where the music is coming from or which song is playing. Sound turns into music and music turns into colour; slowly everything blends in.

I lay down between One and Two, still starring at the castle that my up to now defect eyes failed to notice. I’m seeing colours that I’ve never seen before, sounds that I’ve never heard before. My senses are extraordinary and so are my thought patterns. I grab the first phone that I see and i search for a song that I haven’t heard in years. My kind of India (Belik Boom, 2011 Single) helps me travel to places that i’ve never been before. I stare at my notebook’s blank pages. My hand starts moving rapidly along the music’s beat. It follows the green and yellow flashes that that dance around the paper elegantly. I’ve never drawn anything like this, but right now I’m a genius, or at least I’m confident that I am.

I finish the first part of my drawing extremely quickly. It’s a clock that melts through time, or at least that’s what it looks like. My hand starts moving again, writing words around the clock. I don’t know what i’m writing or why before I’m actually done doing so. All of my thoughts and feelings are being splattered all over the blank pages of my notebook.

Lose the essence of time…

                  And that’s it….

     You’re free…               

The lights start fading. I’m starting to get a funny feeling all over my body. I want to draw more but my hand won’t move. I change the song to ”I’m blue”(Eiffel 65). This song always cheers everyone up, even though the colour blue is supposed to symbolise sadness. As the song goes on, everything brightens up.

I soon get into another trance. As i look at my notebook, my hand is drawn to it like it’s being pulled by a magnet. I start drawing new symbols, new words. Shapes contribute into making objects as everything blends together. My mind is running wild as my hand is desperately trying to keep up. The paper is slowly filled up with my ideas and emotions, my philosophies and weird symbols, that could mean anything as far as I’m concerned. Still, i felt like there was a reason why I was drawing that.

”Is any of this real?” i thought to myself as i separated the pages into smaller parts. I turned around only to see that more of my friends have arrived. Three, Four, Five, Six and Seven were sitting there. Three and Four were drunk, Five and Six had smoked, Seven was a mess. There’s no reason to try to talk to Three or Four, they would never understand. One, Two, Five and Six are the only people I can talk to. They seem interested in what I say, how i feel. But soon, it became too much for One, Two and Six and only Five was able to keep up with me. He could was clearly the only one who can understand what I’m saying.

I start explaining what I’m thinking and what I thought my drawing meant. I still have no idea why I draw that whatsoever. It’s not me anyway, my hand is being guided but at the same time i feel like i choose what I’m drawing. Apart from that, how can i think, speak see clearly and hear everything at the same time? Is that even possible?

As my conversation with Five continues, I can see more clearly that he has been in the same place that I am now many times. ”The more I look at this, the more it seems like a brain’s map.” His words echoed in my mind. Could it really be my brain’s map?  It doesn’t even matter. All i want is to draw more. I stand up and grab my pen and notebook, then i walk to the nearby stoop.

After I finish another big part of my drawing, i feel like my energy and my inspiration are being drained away. As i return to where my friends, I see them getting ready to leave. It is not time for me to go to bed yet. I my shirt, socks and shoes back on and I start walking next to the river, as I say goodbye to my friends.

Every place I got to, I suddenly get inspiration to continue my drawing. Every time different ideas and emotions overflow. For the first time in my life I feel completely free to express myself however I want on paper.

I continued doing that for a while. At this point i start getting tired. The only thing that I can think is ”Can I really see everything clearly or are my eyes just playing tricks on me?”. Many hours have passed even though it barely felt like a few minutes. Even though my mind has completely forgot about the concept of time my body hasn’t. I feel tired, hungry and thirsty. I decide to head back home.

As I finally head back, I keep looking at my drawing. What once seemed to have so much meaning now has no value to me. Was it that everything were clear or were my eyes just playing games? That was my main question. All I know is that without the flashes, I would have never gotten that feeling of freedom, especially not by drawing on my notebook.

I finally make it back. I take a shower and change into comfortable clothes. I feel completely rejuvenated, as I head to bed. I lay in bed and have a couple of sips from my water bottle, which smoothly goes down my throat, as if it was velvet. As I start falling asleep I remember the ancient Greek passage that I read a few days ago.  In the text it is said that some prisoners were taken to underground cells, where the sun wouldn’t shine. They would never see the clouds, or feel the wind on their skin. Then, one of them was was let free, out of the cave to witness the outside world. He could finally see the truth, feel the actual world. That’s the only way I can explain how I felt at that moment.(Plato, Allegory of the Cave.) Like my eyes were opened to a brand new world.

And right now, I’m trying to explain to you what i saw back then and how I felt. But how can you understand me; you have never even tried to escape your own cave. My name is Zero and I really wonder if I managed to make you think about how constricted your reality is. I can be nothing but pessimistic, since I am, after all, just a number.

Work cited:

None.

References:

Belik Boom, My kind of india 2011 single.

Eiffel 65, I’m blue.

 

Did I accomplish my goals?

I think that the plot was a bit hard to grasp. I believe that I made it pretty vivid, mostly writing in present tense and first person. In the comments I would like to get some critique, mostly on whether I managed to make my protagonist easy to empathize with and whether the whole story was interesting or not.